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Taking Charge

It seems to me I have spent the past year and a half running faster than I have had the strength. Life is busy, babies are hard, baseball is fun but VERY time consuming, and it has taken a toll on me, our home and ultimately, our family. I have been saying to myself, "It will get easier when Mason is a little older." Well, now he climbs up bar stools, turns on water faucets, makes MONSTER messes. Some things are easier but many are much harder. "It will slow down when baseball season is over." It seems baseball season is never over and basketball follows baseball and Young Men's are on Thursday nights and Cub Scouts are on Friday afternoons. Piano is on Thursday and homework is every day of the week. I have had my epiphany and realize that this is just normal life at this time and I had better conquer it rather than letting it get the best of me. As I have pondered what I need to do to be a better Mom, Wife, Homemaker, Friend and Daughter of God I have had some impressions that I know are inspired.

1) Get to the temple much, much more. This is so hard right now. It shouldn't be but it is. I used to go while my kids were in school. Now I need to find a sitter for Mason. He naps in the middle of the day. He is tired and harder at night. There is not a great time to go but this needs to be a priority. I have a son that needs to be going regularly as well. I know the temple has and will bring peace into my life. What a blessing is it to have so many so close. I need to use them more.

2) Read the scriptures and conference talks. This goes along with attending the temple. I need the strength that comes from daily, spiritual enlightenment. In January I set a goal to read the Ensign from cover to cover each month. I did well for a few months and then faltered. I am ready to recommit. Our Heavenly Father has not left us alone. He has given us all kinds of guidance if we will seek after it. Prayer is a given.

3) Fulfill my church calling. It took me a few months to get organized after being called to be the Relief Society secretary. We all felt a little overwhelmed but things are coming, I am making the black binder mine and figuring out how to go about doing what it is I should be doing. Great joy can come from serving in the church.

4) Exercise. I am really good at this one. I know I feel better when I have gone for a nice sunny walk. It is too cold now and I need to learn to adapt to my indoor exercise plan. Mason is learning to stay clear of the treadmill. I am learning to make it through a work out while watching Barney or Sesame Street. I am too nervous to take him to the gym daycare during the germy season so we will continue to figure out how to work together on this one. Hopefully I can come up with the right combination of toys, treats and shows to entertain a little toddler for 45 minutes a day.

5) Me time. I need this. When Douglas was a baby I would faithfully put him down for a nap, pull out my cross-stitch, turn on Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and recharge. I was so good at it. I had one little boy. Now I have 3. I volunteer at the school, I visit an aging Grandmother in a nursing home, I have twice the laundry and 3 times the responsibilities and my hobbies have gone out the door. If I am more organized I can squeeze a little bit of that cross-stitch time back in. If I am creative I can find time to read a good book. A little bit of me time = a happy mom so I need to use my time more wisely.

6) Date Night. I can't live without this. Russell and I have grown closer together by doing this faithfully this past year. Many dates we were accompanied by Mason. He was so young, I was so nervous. Now I have two fully capable boys to help care for him a few hours a week. We have been leaving him home and how wonderful it is. It is okay to share date night with friends on occasion but not too often. Couples need to be alone, to reconnect, to talk without interruption, to court. Marriage takes constant effort. Too many of them get thrown to the side. Life will pull you apart if you let it or it will bind you closer together. I choose closeness.

7) Hang that dinner list back on the fridge. I like to cook. I am even good at it but for some reason dinner is a big cause of stress lately. I need to get back to the routine that works for me. I will make a list of menu items to prepare. I have done this weekly at times or sometimes even monthly. Make sure you have all of the ingredients available for those meals. Keep an on-going shopping list so you don't forget things as you run out. Look for ways to consolidate, cook 2 lbs of hamburger one night instead of 1. Grill some extra chicken breasts and chop them up for later. Make a double batch of pizza sauce and freeze half. Having a plan really eliminates the stress. Going to the store less saves time. Eating at home more saves money and sitting at the table together saves families. I can enjoy this responsibility again if I get more organized.

8) And speaking of getting organized, this house needs a good overhaul. I am drafting a To-List to make my house feel more like a home. That I will save for a future post!

Anything worth having is going to take work. My family is so important to me and I feel like now is the time to give 110%. No more flying by the seat of my pants, no more going through the motions. Now is my time to be the best I can. I want this family with me forever and that means a lot of hard work now. Time to pull my shirt sleeves up and dig in!

Comments

Ang said…
What an inspiring post! And I agree with every word. After Wyatt was born I kept thinking things would slow down "when" . . . and they never have. And I also have a list of dinners stuck on the side of my fridge with a magnet. Helps a ton. I would add one more, though, that's really helped me. It's a paragraph from Chieko Okazaki that has helped me through many an intensive season:
"Only you know your circumstances, your energy level, the needs or your children, and the emotional demands of your other obligations. Be wise during intensive seasons of your life. Cherish your agency, and don’t give it away casually. Don’t compare yourself to others—nearly always this will make you despondent. Don’t accept somebody else’s interpretation of how you should be spending your time. Practice saying, ‘I feel good about my decision to . . .’ and then fill in the blank with whatever you’ve decided.”
Thanks for the great post, Jenny!
brees said…
Great post Jenny! Takes so much work to run a family but oh so worth it. My favorite time of the day is dinner, the kids know that they have to be home and we sit around the table together at least 5 nights a week. I love the casual conversation, sometimes rowdiness, love and occasional tears that are spent at that table! I think that you are doing a great job.
ls said…
first of all, i always love when i find a kindred spirit that loves disneyland/world as much as i do. you guys looked like you had a fantastic time, and i am so wishing i could get there with my little family soon. i love that you guys go every year or so. that's how my family was growing up and the memories i have are truly priceless.

second, i love this motivational taking charge of your home life post. i only have the one little boy (and really, can't imagine how busy it must be with 3), but i am determined to use your list as my own and check things off in the next few months before my baby arrives. thanks for the kick start!
Kimberly said…
Thank you for the great ideas. You are absolutely right and I need to do all the things you mentioned. No wonder you are one of my favorite people, EVER.
You inspire me. Thanks for being you.
Anonymous said…
Jenny
I just love you! I miss you, you are so down to earth and such a great mom, wife, and friend. I know what you mean about little ones. :) You may think you are being a slacker, but I don't! I have always admired you and how organized and on top of things you are. I have tried to be more like you in the homemaking department. You always have good dinner ideas, you always seem to have an endless supply of energy. I just think your wonderful. Oh ya I lost my weight but it took a year. I just got rid of the last 5. Honestly it has been because I have been sick for two solid weeks. :) Keep up the good work.
Aimee said…
I still remember the days of your "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" breaks. I agree... life just gets busier as kids get older. It's crazy!
Melanie said…
Okay, thanks for the reminder that I'm not the only one trying to do this!
Patti said…
Great post! Bet you didn't know it made me cry! Yes, I cry THAT easily. I made that same committment to reading the Ensign cover to cover, and I broke it around June. Shame on me. I love that you have the determination to get it right, right now. Sometimes it's easier to just whine about how hard life is instead of deciding to cowboy up. Good for you. I'm so glad you're the RS secretary. Thanks for all you do.
wylie said…
So I read this post right after you posted it but was thinking about it again this week and decided to come back and read it over again so I could let it soak in. I am recommitting in most of the same areas, how wonderful to read that you are doing the same and get a boost of "go get 'em" after re-reading it. Thank you Jenny!

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