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Christmas Eve

As I recap this year's Christmas season it is difficult to process it all.  We went about our normal traditions and activities with the knowledge that Grandma Mary was finishing her journey here on earth.  It was the morning of December 21st that I got a text from my dad saying that Grandma was unresponsive.  My sister, Kelly, and I hurried up to the VA nursing home to say our last goodbyes.  We knew this day would come and we have been hoping it would sooner rather than later.  Grandma has not been herself.  She needed to move on.  Still, the thought of her not being around was a heavy sadness mixed with disbelief and happiness for her to be free from her frail body and mind.  It was my 22nd wedding anniversary and Russell and I had plans.  I wanted to be with Grandma as she passed but I also wanted to celebrate with the love of my life.  It was not a hard decision for me to make.  I would spend time with Russell but Grandma was on my mind.

She made it through the night and we were able to take the kids on Saturday to say goodbye to her.  She was on straight morphine to keep her comfortable and she looked like she was already dead lying still and pale in her bed.  It was not a sight anyone wanted to see but there was a feeling of peace there in the room.  She lived through another night.

I was not sleeping well thinking of Grandma and wondering when she would go.  My mom stayed with her each night and almost every daytime minute.  I expected a call at any moment but for some reason she would not go.  It was exhausting to play the waiting game.

We decided to keep our Christmas Eve tradition of bowling only Grandma Lee would not be there.  We missed her but understood she needed to be with Grandma Mary.
Aurora and Payson

Cute cousins





We were in the middle of our celebration when we got the news that Grandma had passed.  We all stopped for a moment and shed a tear of sadness and relief.  We knew we would have our mom for Christmas now and that Grandma was finally free.  It was bitter sweet.  We still had fun.  I will never forget Christmas Eve 2012 but it will not be a ruined day that I will always remember.  It will be a beautiful, wonderful, amazing Grandma that I love so very much.





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Sherrie said…
So sorry for your loss. I am glad you have peace in knowing she is in a better place. I am glad you had an enjoyable Christmas even through your grief and loss of your dear Grandma.
January 5, 2013 at 7:17 PM
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