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Completely Lost

The kids are out of school tomorrow so today was Halloween Day.  Halloween is far from my favorite holiday but it is one that has brought me so much happiness.  For the past 10 years I have done a party in one of the boy's classes.  One year I even got to do a party for each of them.  When Stockton was small he had so much fun sitting with Douglas, eating candy corns from his Bingo card and feeling like one of the big kids.  I LOVE doing Halloween parties.  Today I was not needed.  My boys have moved on and I was left feeling very empty and completely lost.

Mason and I went to the annual costume parade.  I loved holding him on my lap and watching all of the kids go by.  I loved posing him on the stage trying to get a good shot of his costume.  (This pose was ALL his idea!  I was just trying to get him to look at me.)
But the whole thing only lasted about 30 minutes.  This is the only picture I got of Stockton
and then we were done.  I lingered for a minute, perhaps thinking I was mistaken and someone would pull me into a classroom and tell me how glad they were I was available.  Perhaps I thought my 5th grader would come looking for me because he wanted to give me a big hug and tell me that the movie they were going to watch was such a dumb idea and he knew I was so much more exciting than the gallon of chocolate milk I was asked to send to school with him (I make Sprite cups with worms in them!).  Perhaps I am just a pathetic mom that is having a hard time letting go.  This was it for Stockton.  No more parades, no more parties.  Thank goodness I have Mason!
He was my best friend today.  He needed church clothes so I took him shopping.  I ended up with a coat and a dress.  We looked at another store and ended up with sprinkles and black gel to make sugar cookies. We were both hungry so we ate at Wendys where I 100% enjoyed being with him.  Most days I would cringe at the thought of doing all of that together but today he saved me from the depths of sorrow.  It was a great reminder that I am not all washed up.  I will be needed again in 3 short years.  I don't care how many mom's show, I WILL NOT miss his Halloween party!
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Comments

Anonymous said…
That's my boy!
Grandpa
October 28, 2010 at 3:54 PM
Patti said…
Wow- that's such a great picture of Stockton! Very detailed and all that. Thank goodness for Mason for saving your day, and what a cute little fisherman! Love it!
October 29, 2010 at 8:12 AM
brees said…
Oh Jenny! I laughed when Stockton came rushing by us, he didn't look like he loved the parade! He will love bowling next year! I broke my arm the night before and a=had to have my dad come and do Jackson's party, I should have called you :)
October 29, 2010 at 11:23 AM
wylie said…
Jenny, I have been at almost every party with you since Cooper/Stockton's kindergarten. This year I had to be in charge of the party at Cooper's new school and thought about you a lot. The thoughts went something like this, "Man, I sure miss Jenny being in charge!"
October 29, 2010 at 12:44 PM
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